


Waiting For You To Breathe

by golgothasTerror



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Drama, Friendship/Love, M/M, Sadstuck, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-14 03:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golgothasTerror/pseuds/golgothasTerror
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After three years of separation, Dave reunites with and sticks by his best friend, as both he and John are forced to suddenly deal with John's father, who's taken to heavy alcohol abuse and violence. Meanwhile, Dave tries to keep a secret from his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Invitation To Fall

There is no such thing as a normal life, and if you try to find one you might be out of luck. This was especially true for the group of kids who had been unwillingly whisked away into an alternate reality only a few years ago. Since the end of their ordeal they had all moved on with their lives, trying to keep things peaceful, and attempting to keep in contact. Yet through all the chaos and the schedules of their changing lives their times of getting to talk seems few and far between. This was mostly true for the two boys, whom used to be so close.

John Egbert rarely spoke to Jade or Rose, and hadn't heard from Dave in what had to be going on nearly two years. Even so his life continued, and this certain day had started like any other. In the recent months he along with his father had decidedly moved to Texas, and lived in the midst of a lively city that never seemed to slow down. With towering buildings, and rows of constantly moving cars, it was quite the opposite of the quiet suburbs in which John had spent his childhood. They now lived in an apartment rather than a roomy house, one that had been two big for just the two of them. Now they were surrounded by a bustling metropolis. 

Even a simple music store was lively and loud.

Music that sounded fit for a rave was coming through the speakers on the ceiling, and handfuls of people aligned the isles and the checkout counter. The store itself was rather bright, and had colorful merchandise, displays, and televisions with ads playing on nearly every wall. Old records hung by fish wire from the ceiling tiles, and John found it hard to actually focus on what he was looking for among all of the distractions. 

He had wandered into the back of the store, pushing past the occasional customer, and then letting his gaze drag along the alphabetized list of CDs. John wasn't really one to listen too much music, but he never missed a chance to occasionally go out to look for a soundtrack to any of his favorite movies. His eyes would light up whenever he found one of the titles he was looking for, even if he already owned one of whatever he'd found. To top it off, the store was a rather easy walking distance from his apartment. 

The nearly oversized sleeve of his light blue jacket slipped, as he reached out to grab one last CD. On the right side of the piece of clothing was a small, blue symbol, that was previously used as his God Tier symbol in the Sburb game. The shirt underneath it was black, and he wore rather typical looking, baggy khaki pants. John was never big into fashion. Especially not on mornings when he rushed out the door, knowing that he was planning to geek out over movies or music, why should he care? With one more grabbing of a CD, he now held a bundle of five different soundtracks in his hands, and admired them for a few moments. To anyone walking past he might've looked like a kid staring at a handful of bad CDs, but his mind was hard at work trying to figure out what the best use of his money was, according the movie, song list, and other incentives. He was currently in the middle of looking for a summer job, so that $15 in his pocket needed to be used in the best way possible. 

“Oh, man. I'm so torn!” 

A few passing customers turned to give him an odd stare. 

“All of these babies deserve to come home with me!”

He was a lost cause.

Lost in more ways than one, actually. At least to a certain familiar blond who happened to be passing by the store, or perhaps on his way in. 

The summer sun beat down on Dave Strider. Unlike John, he wore no hoodie. He was wearing only a red t-shirt, with his Knight of Time symbol being shown off on it's front. As he walked, he only minimally watched his surroundings as he grew closer to his destination. Most of the time he would only loosely steal glances off to the side when he was walking, normally keeping his eyes on the crowds in front of him, but something had caught his attention. Before he could even fully walk into the store, he caught a glance of what appeared to be an old friend. A friend whom Dave had once thought was irreplaceable, and try as he might to avoid such, he still felt that way. 

For whatever reason; though deep down he knew exactly why, the things around him started to slow down, or so it seemed to him. The crowds seemed to fade into the background, and the music in the store was barely audible. It was a dull background noise in his ears now, but hell if he wasn't at least trying focusing on the music. He'd almost forgotten where he was, until reality hit him the face and he realized exactly what he was looking at, and it wasn't any ghost. His friends original Pesterchum handle aside, the person towards the back of the store, holding a pile of CD’s in his hands wasn't a ghost at all. This wasn't any trick of the eyes. After more than a couple of years of separation, there he was, right in front of him and this was beginning to feel like something from a bad soap opera. So the more Dave stood there like an idiot, the more he realized that he either needed to speak up, or turn tail and run. Dave Strider wasn't about to run, not even if his legs were currently feeling like they were going to fall out from beneath him. No one really had to know about that. He tried to keep a poker face and walk calmly, slowly, towards his target. 

His eyes were wide behind his sunglasses.

The crowds around him were ever-moving, and loud. 

To them nothing of significance was happening.

To Dave, it was different, and he was almost holding his breath.

“John?”  
He had spat out the others name as a question, whether or not he knew he wasn't seeing anyone else but his old friend. Something in the back of his mind wasn't convinced that the boy would just look at him with a confused expression, ask him who in the hell John was, and send him away in all of his own embarrassment. Though, he kept his poker face. 

Sure enough, at the mention of his name John glanced upwards. 

His brown eyes scanned the area around him, looking at a few different people that were closer to him, before looking momentarily confused, and then finally focusing on the rather noticeable red hoodie dawning boy, who stood only a few feet away from him. 

At first John didn't speak.

He just stood there, silent, but his thoughts were fairly loud in his own head.

A few cautious steps were taken towards the blond boy, and he wasn't smiling, not just yet. He was still a bit too shocked. To John, Dave was someone with whom he was once close with, but for whatever reason it had felt like Dave had just stopped trying to contact him, and John hadn't really known why. Though, their friendship still meant a lot to John, and he swallowed dryly before speaking. 

The soundtracks that he had been holding began to drop out his hands, almost in slow motion.

The colorful cases fell onto the nearest CD-filled median that stood between the two boys, some hit the floor. Neither one of the boys stopped to pay any mind to the few surrounding customers who turned to glance towards the source of CD cases clanking against the floor tile.

John left them unattended as he took a few steps towards the other.

Now it was his turn to drown out the music, and the crowds that bustled around himself. He almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. Not after all this time. Not after a few different online messages sent that remained unanswered even now. John had thought about the fact that Dave had lived in Texas, but the chances of them ending up in the same town? That was crazy. Yet apparently not enough so to actually be possible, because there he was.

There _they_ were, face to face.

“D-Dave?”

 

Well, he had never expected _this_ to happen when he made that random trip to the CD store. 

It only took a few seconds for the shock to wear off, and for the biggest smile to play it's way onto John's face. He repeated the others name, a confirmation as an answer to the question. “Dave!”. He grinned that same toothy grin that the blond remembered all too well. His smile was infectious, and oh damn, why weren't the lights in the room getting any brighter? Dave was nearly stuck in his original position, just watching the boy, shock still visible in his eyes if anyone could've actually seen behind his shades. 

John had other ideas, and wasn't about to just stand there.

He suddenly took off, still not giving a second thought to his abandoned CDs, as he rushed over to his friend. He dodged a few customers, and the median on the way there, but eventually found his way to the other. Before either one of them had much time to think, John found his arms flying around his friend's neck. He smiled rather genuinely, as he hugged the boy tightly. 

To Dave, everything was still happening in some crazy haze of slow motion.

Even John's tackle hug felt like it lasted forever. Either that or maybe it wasn't happening at all, but he realized that he had to key in to the situation eventually. So as it sunk in, he let a smile reach his own lips, and he brought one hand up to pat the other on the head. John was giggling, and in all his excitement there was a good chance that he hadn't even noticed Dave's action. This was okay with Dave, whom had decided to finally speak up. “Yo, Egbert.”

He stopped all of his haywire thoughts, and focused on the fact that, holyshit, he was meeting his best friend outside of that dangerous computer game. “It's been awhile, huh?”

Dave would have been lying to himself if he had said that the last two or three years without John weren't hard for him. It was likewise with John, who had often found himself missing the other. For these few minutes their lives might've felt so simply perfect, but nothing ever stayed so simple, and perfection didn't last. They would discover that all too quickly. 

“Ow..”

John flinched, pulling back from Dave's returned hug.

His eyes fell onto the designs on the store's carpet.

Dave gave a motion that told John he was confused, despite the fact that his eyes were still hidden behind his ever present sunglasses. 

A smile found it's way onto John's face again, as he brushed the issue off with a wave of his hand.

“Oh, it's nothing! Just a little bruise.” 

The raven haired boy whirled back around in a manner that was almost too cheery, and went to pick the fallen soundtracks up off of the floor.

Dave briefly wondered why he was suddenly being ignored for old movie soundtracks, and he raised an eyebrow. At first there had seemed to be nothing too different about his friend, and ever since he and the others had ended their session in Sburb Dave had assumed that maybe life for his friends had been doing nothing but improving. They had seen more than enough violence and death for kids their age, and whenever he thought about John, it had always been in a positive scenario. Sometimes it seemed like nothing much bothered the kid, and maybe Dave was reading too much in to such a small action.

“Hey, John?”

“Dave!” his voice was still unnaturally energetic. 

“Do me a favor?”

Their eyes weren't meeting, John was putting back the few soundtracks that he had ultimately decided not to keep. Only the back of his Breath hoodie was visible to his friend.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. What?”

“Just call me tomorrow, or something, okay? I've got to get all these CDs home and put them in order of movie titles on their shelves!”

Dave studied his friend over, gave a light nod that he knew John couldn't see, and repeated himself. "Sure."


	2. Noise Through The Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John calls Dave instead of waiting for it to be the other way around, but he seems a little out of sorts. Dave questions just what he's hearing from the other end of the phone, and it doesn't sound pretty.

It had been years since the two boys had really spoken, Dave and John. Through out their various early chat conversations, and their game session in Sburb, they had seemed close knit. That held true until a short time after their game session had ended. The kids all aged, and prepared for high school, studies, part-time jobs, and the like. They had lived states apart, all of them, until John had moved to Texas. Up until that point, Dave had thought that John would never be apart of his life again. If he was being honest, he would've admitted to himself that he was purposefully not talking to the other boy much. He was aware that their lives were separate, and he was aware that John was busy in his own state, with his own friends, and his own school. Or that was how he justified the situation, because the reality was that Dave just plain old didn't trust himself around his friend.

He remembered how they used to be, both in game, and in chat windows. Even their old video chats with eachother were something that he would catch himself thinking about as he went on about his day. Try as he might, Dave Strider was having a hard time keeping his best friend out of his thoughts. There were reasons that John wouldn't leave his head. Reasons that would try not be the at the forefront of Dave's focus when he was busy studying, or writing music, or mixing records. Try as he might, there was one more than one occasion where his new music track had been given a name with the word “blue”, or “wind”, or “heir” being included in the title.

There again came the excuse “We're bros, I guess there's no harm. Maybe I'll write a track for Harley next time”.

 Now, now they were talking again.  
  
What now, Strider?

  Bumping into Egbert at the local record shop had been a cool expereince. Meeting a good friend face to face, after years of only chatting on the internet, or meeting in-game. He wished that was all it was to him. A nice run-in with an old friend. That _was_ all it was, right? Yeah. Anything else would be a little silly to think of.

It was the evening of the following day, and school books and a flashy red backpack were being tossed aside at home after a long school day. Dave ears had been extra-tuned in to the sounds of his phone all day. It set idle in his jean pocket, only getting a couple of texts from Jade through out the day. She was nice and all, but her name didn't start with a J while also ending with an N, so he hadn't jumped at the chance to reply; waiting until the walk home to get it done.

 

Schoolbag disguarded, Dave was pondering the idea of poking his nose into his Bro's room, to see if maybe he wasn't the only one craving American-made Chinese food from the nearby resturaunt chain. Often they would strife on the roof for an hour over the last few pieces of orange chicken, only to come back to the cold remains of their warm Chinese food, sitting on the table drying out in the room-temperature air. Sword wounds were usually more bragging rights between the two, than they were worth the effort of getting to eat mircrowaved chicken as the end result. It was almost a sport.

  “How did you get those wicked scars, Strider?”  
“Oh, you know, was going for the last of the Orange Chicken one night during dinner.”

Hah.

 Unfortunately for Dave, the Chinese food would have to wait.

Suddenly his appetite was anything but still there, as his phone went off in his pocket. It buzzed, and the ring set off some sort underground rap song that most people probably had never heard before. He quickly stopped in his tracks, and rustled to grab and unlock his phone. It was actually John! Which was weird, because he remembered that Egbert had told him to be the one to call. Dave had still waited for his phone to ring despite that fact, which after mentally realizing that, was trying his best to forget it. Smooth. Stop being a fucking school girl, Strider.

 

This was hardly the time to give himself mental beat ups, as the phone clicked open to the call screen, and he heard a familiar voice on the other end. “Hi, Dave.”

John spoked in his usual happy tone, that had almost muffled the speakers when he spoke.  
  
“Hey, Egbert”, Dave answered, trying to walk as casually as possible through his apartment, and into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich. This was done in comparison to how his body was wanting to react, which was to clutch his phone, dash to room, and lay on his bed and talk for an hour or two. Fuck that nose. That was uncool. So, peanut butter and jelly it was.

 

“Hi! I-er, I know I said to call me if you felt like talking, but here's the thing - I can't always let you be one step ahead.” he laughed a little. His attempt to turn the phone conversation into some sort of challenge was sort of amusing to the blonde, actually.

 

Dave smiled, and it was apparent through his voice, “So, what you're saying is that you just couldn't wait to call me? Egbert, I never pegged you to be a squishy high school girl. I was barely able to walk through the door”. It was a little flirty, but Dave would've said that to almost anyone, and wasn't sure how else to react to John that wasn't some way that made him sound nervous. That was, essentially, the last thing he wanted come off as around his friend.

 

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and then a late response from the black-haired boy. “Hahah, yeah that's really it! Oh darn, you caught me.” he sounded distracted, despite being perfectly fine at the start of the call. Dave raised an eyebrow, that John couldn't see to react to.

“John, is everything good? What's the matter, don't tell me you're getting shy around The Strider.” His actions of making a sandwich had come to a halt. Had he made him uneasy? The knife rested in the peanut butter jar, and bread hadn't even made it out of the bag yet. He was more concerned over his phone call than a food staple.

 John's voice sounded like it was a little ways away from the phone receiver, and there was another pause before he answered. Dave listened, and from his end of the call he thought he could hear some sort of crash from John's end. What the heck? It passed quickly, though, and then John spoke, “Uh, yeah. You're hilarious, you know?”

 Dave blinked, listening closely to sounds on the other end of the phone, he had heard something else after John had spoken, but he couldn't make out what it was. Either John was super clumsy, or maybe he was side-tracked by some bad Lifetime movie. John did love his movies, Dave almost wouldn't put it passed him. His sandwich wasn't any closer to being completed.

“Hey, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm gonna let you go, okay?”

  
Why would someone willingly call another person, and then want to leave them hanging less than five minutes in. He held the phone away from his ear long enough for the screen to unlock. The time on the call was at 4:05 and counting. He hadn't waited all day for 4 minutes of “Hi, how are you”s. His friend sounded a little too out of sorts for Dave to just let it be, let alone whatever weird sounds he had heard not even two minute ago. “Sure-” Ah, hell no. “Wait, John.”

“Hahaha, Dave, look I know you wanna catch up and all,”

There was a pause to his phrase, as another sound obstructed the phone speaker, Dave still couldn't hear exactly what it was, but it was starting to freak him out. He thought he had just made him nervous? “but now isn't the best time.”

The call sounded like it was breaking up, and try as he might to convince the other, Dave couldn't seem to get his friend to stay on the line.

There was a noise then that hurt Dave's ears, and he flinched from where he stood in the kitchen. The phone left his for a short moment as his hearing recovered from the sudden sound. What the fuck?  
“Egbert? Yo!”

He heard scrambling from the other end, and shuffles. He thought he had heard John speak, but he couldn't make out what was said, it was too far away. His heart jumped in his chest, and he felt a serious wave of unease wash through him. What the hell was going on? Unless it was normal to play hocky with one's cellphone, which it wasn't, something was way off. Dave still hadn't heard a reply from the other. He raised his voice this time. “Egbert, are you okay?”

 

From the other end, John whimpered lightly, and there was something said to him by another voice, that definitely wasn't coming from the television. John's hand scrambled to grab the phone, which had fallen to the floor after hitting the sofa on the way down. The call was still going, and he thought he had heard Dave something. He had _definitely_ heard Dave say something, but his eyes didn't stay focused on the phone for long, as he gazed back over in front of him with leery eyes. He was staring straight ahead, fingers still wrapped around his phone.

 

Back in his apartment, Dave was less than a minute away from grabbing his hoodie, and heading to his car. In fact, it took one more crash from John's end of the call, and the line being disconnected for him to do just that. “John?!” He slammed his phone shut. “Goddammit.”

The next thing he knew, he was in the car, driving through the streets under a darkening sky. His sights were set on the address that he had written on a small sticky note on his way out the door. Thank God for Harley still keeping in contact with everyone, and sending the occasional penpal letters out. Her texts where still lit up the phone screen, as he shoved the item into his hoodie pocket and stepped on the gas.

 

Rubber spun on concrete.

 

Rain beat down on the windshield.

 

Dave had neglected to tell Jade why he had asked for John's address.

 

“I don't know what's going on..”

 

One hand was on the wheel, and the other was impatiently re-dailing John's number.

 

Nothing but empty ringing, and a voice mail that wasn't set up.

 

“but I'm sure as hell gonna find out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna let this fic sit and collect dust for years, but I have this weird thing where I figure nobody cares to read my shit. Though, there's quite a few hits on this, and someone on tumblr reminded me about it today. It's been a year since I've written anything for this story, so I hope this chapter didn't feel too weird when put together with the first one. Hopefully this will get me back into writing it. I have chapter three already planned out.
> 
> For anyone who was actually wondering about this for a while, sorry it didn't update for like 7 years. lmao


	3. End Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave presses John about what he thought he heard over the phone, but John has his own idea of how this meeting will go down, and he's not on the same page as his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna say this now. I thought it would have been off-putting, and sad, and an entirely different story altogether to have had Dave live on his own at such an age. So for the sake of some level of normality for him, Bro is still alive even after SBURB, as I sort of hinted at earlier on in the story, and he will be in more later, too. Theory is that the guardians are still alive, because once the game ended, nobody who died stayed dead. c:

Rain on the windshield impaired his vision while he drove, but he tried to ignore it. 

Dave Strider was more than a little frustrated right now.

He wasn't annoyed just by the rain, or by John, it was the situation as a whole. He had finally met his friend again, for nearly the first time since the game session, and now John was calling him only to hang up a couple of minutes later? To top it all off, John hadn't been himself, and phone call had been weird. His mind jumped to some bad ends without his permission, and he tried as he might to keep his thoughts focused, and away from the worst case scenarios. After all, if something really _was_ going on with John, Dave freaking out about it wouldn't help matters. 

His hands clenched onto the steering wheel, and he found himself glancing at the speed limit signs with malice.

He needed to go _faster_ , dammit.

The minutes on the car's digital clock ticked by, and Dave was becoming self aware to his own sense of panic as they passed. 

"Come on, Strider, keep your head on straight, man." he said, under his breath. 

When he answered John's call, he hadn't at all expected it to end like that. What the hell was up with John? 

One thing was for sure, the kid was way too important to him, for Dave to just sit back and ignore whatever red flags had waved in his mind.

The next thing he knew, the car had come to a halt, and he was frantic as he slammed the door on his way towards John's apartment. The complex itself wasn't very big, and it certainly was no tall high-rise like that of Dave's. This one had more width than height, and Dave was vaguely aware that it had four stories. He had glanced over the complex quickly, as his eyes scanned for John's address. According the apartment number he had been given, John was only one floor up. This allowed Dave a small sense of relief; he could reach him quicker that way. His feet moved before his mind even had time to think, and towards the building he went. A flight of stairs on the side allowed for an easy trip up the entire building, and onto the roof. Though, lucky for Dave, he only needed the stairs for one quickly approaching floor. 

Dave was off the metal stairs just as quickly as he stepped on to them, or so it felt like to him. He breathed heavily as he flew from the stair well towards the direction of John's door. His typical red hoodie was rain soaked, and so, he noticed, was John's blue hoodie.

The dark-haired boy sat outside the door to his apartment, huddled up in a ball, probably to keep warm in the rain.

It was a sight, to say the least.

John's face was hidden. There was a good chance that he didn't even know Dave was there. Nor had he heard him coming up the stairs.

The blonde felt his chest tighten, and twist in a way that he wasn't too comfortable with.

The sound of footsteps made more apparent by the wet ground caused John to tune into the situation, and his head snapped upwards.

Dave halted as John's eyes locked on to him. Last time those eyes had followed him so closely, they had been in a CD shop, without a care in the world. Or so it had seemed like it at the time. The situation had shifted pretty fast, whatever the situation was, even. At least it was clear to him now that there was one. That fact was hard to deny now, as he peered down at his friend, who looked pretty defeated. John probably couldn't see his eyes, and Dave was more than okay with that.

Then, much to his surprise, John spoke first. 

That was also okay, if he was being honest, because Dave was at a complete loss for words.

"Dave?" Was the first word out of John's mouth, but he quickly continued on, pushing the question aside, as it had an obvious answer. "How did you find this place..?"

How did he find this place? His best friend was curled up in a ball in the rain. Dave heard almost scary noises from the other end of the phone, who knows _what_ had actually gone on then for John, and his only comment was _"how did he find this place"_?! 

One thing was clear, Dave needed to calm down, because he had no real known reason to be so upset. 

John was watching him curiously. 

Dave walked a little closer to his friend as he spoke, but he was keeping his gaze downwards, almost as if he were in trouble. 

"I, um.." Make up a lie, make up a lie! You can think of something, Strider. "I got it from Jade. Your address, that is." Dammit!

"Why?!" John sounded more shocked that angry, and he was keeping his eyes on Dave. Unlike Dave himself, who was still looking elsewhere.

"Because, I heard some weird ass noises when we were on the phone earlier!" he was looking at John now. The boy was still hugging his knees, hood over his head to keep himself as dry as possible. It hadn't entirely worked. Water still soaked his outfit, and his glasses were splattered with rain drops. There was a feeling growing in the back of Dave's thoughts that made him fight the impulse to go sit next to the other. He didn't want to overstep whatever boundaries John might've had. "Then the freakin' call went dead, and who really knows? What was I supposed to do?" 

John didn't seem to have any good answer, because it took him a couple of seconds to retort, and the result was a shaky answer. "I dunno, maybe mind your own business?"

Was he mad? Dave was caught off guard.

"Mind my own business? John, you gotta realize what that phone call sounded like to me!"

They were closer now, Dave had moved towards him without even realizing it. 

John was still curled up. There was nothing but the sound of their voices, and the rain. No people passing by in or out of the surrounding apartments. 

At least this little meeting had some privacy.

"What did it sound like, Dave? Tell me. Tell me, because I can tell you that you coming here was a waste of time." John was trying to sound confident, but it was apparent to Dave, from the looks of things, that he had no reason to be such. If there had been absolutely nothing wrong, John wouldn't have been sitting alone outside in the middle of a rain storm. Dave wasn't stupid, and he didn't enjoy being lied to.

Dave narrowed his eyes, "Nah, bro. Why don't you tell _me_ what happened? I heard some loud sounds, and then the call freakin' dropped. Just-" he wanted to yell, he wanted to raise his voice, he wanted to get the truth from his friend. If he was hurt, if he got into a fight, if he tripped and fell, if we was playing some stupid video game. Any sort of answer. Why was John being so defensive? Though, he had to stay calm, or else he wouldn't get an answer at all. His words looped back around to what they should've been to begin with. "Are you okay?"

John's eyes softened, and as a result, so did Dave's.

"I'm.. I'm okay." He started, "The call didn't drop, actually." 

Dave raised an eyebrow.

"I hung up." John inhaled slowly, seeming as if he were trying to reveal some big secret. "I hung up, because I thought maybe you'd just let it go, and wouldn't bother. Like, maybe you'd just call back later." Now he was the one staring at the ground, rather than at the other boy. This was partially out of nerves, and partially because if he would've looked at Dave, he was sure that Dave would've noticed his eyes. They were glassy, and try as he might to blink away tears, it was barely working. Ugh.

This didn't go unnoticed, because as soon as John gave a quick glance upwards, Dave noticed the shift in the others mood.

There went his heart again, tightening in his chest, and leaving him almost breathless at completely inopportune moments. This wasn't a situation where it was okay to lose his train of thought, and get off track. Whatever he had meant to say about the phone call had gone down the drain.

"John, are you-" he clenched his fists.

"No." John wasn't looking at him.

Yeah, no. That retort had been given way too quick.

As far as Dave was concerned, this whole dramatic scenario had to go.

"Okay, come on", Dave bent down just enough to grab John's arms, and start to pull him upwards, trying to get him to stand.

"W-what? Dave, what are you doing?"

"We're going back to my car." 

He had a plan to get John safely into his car, and then take him back to his apartment. Bro might've been home by that point, and maybe they could all go grab dinner, or do something fun to get John's mind off this ordeal. Maybe they could watch a movie, or catch up, or reflect on the game. Dave could find a number of things for them to do, if John would just come back with him.

Though, John didn't follow. "Wait!"

He stood up, but he didn't seem to want to move far from his spot.

_What?_   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tryin' to kick this story back into gear, so here's another update for you guys. I figured a short chapter was better than a year in between. Ahahah..hah.


	4. Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is not at all pleased that Dave showed up, or so he doesn't seem it, and Bro realizes that Dave isn't acting like himself.

"What did you say?"

Dave's head was almost spinning as he peered over at his friend.

John was looking Dave straight in the eyes, and wasn't moving from where he stood. 

The rainfall had nearly stopped, and John broke free of Dave's grasp in order to remove his hood, and let it fall back down to his shoulders.

"I said, I think I'm gonna stay here", John finished. 

There was a few moments of silence then, and Dave barely moved a muscle, all the while John began to try to brush some of the raindrops off of himself, and pulled off his hoodie. It had gotten fairly soaked, and he looked at it with discontent. Like he was annoyed that he would have to let it dry. Underneath, he wore a typical plan black t-shirt. No quirky symbol adorned on the front, for once. It was still a little cool outside, but John didn't seem bothered by the air. 

Dave almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. "I thought-"

He didn't even get a chance to speak, before John cut him off.

"It's fine, Dave." A small pause. "I mean, thank you for checking in on me", his words sounded a little less than sincere, and if Dave was being honest, he almost felt like John's words had sounded entirely fake. Scripted, or rehearsed. He didn't believe for a second that he meant what he said. At the same time, John sounded confident, and his words were making Dave seriously want to back off. He had come all the way where, and now he was being called a fool for it, more or less. Dave's confidence had never been his strong point. The tone in John's voice made him want to turn and leave, but the situation was throwing him red flags, and all he wanted to do was support his friend. 

John kept going. 

"Seriously, I'm glad you showed up. I got a little shaken up over something, but I'm fine now, okay?" The boy slung his hoodie over one of his arms, and walked over towards his friend. Dave looked uneasy, and again, his worried expression was partially hidden by the tint of his shades. 

For the first time since the turn in the conversation, Dave fought back. "Dude, Egbert, c'mon. It's no big deal, right? Just come back to my place." He shrugged, to further stress the fact that it could be a casual hangout, but he was also trying his best to not let the other one up him. He might've been confused, but he also worried, and didn't wanna see John walk inside, not when he was still so suspicious of the situation. "I did come all the way here, so we might as well hang out." He tried.

John smiled a half smile, and spun around on his heels so that he wasn't facing his friend. 

"Why?"

Not this again. All this was doing was feeding Dave's suspicion that something was wrong.

"Stop asking me that." Dave took another step towards John, his voice firm.

John's smile had fallen, but he kept his own voice as convincingly happy as possible. "No, really, why?"

Dave was tired of repeating himself by this point. Why? Why? _Why_? He had already told John. He had told him that the phone convo had weirded him out, and now all he was trying to do was make sure that John was okay. He could see that he wasn't hurt, at least from what he could tell, but what about the condition he had been in when Dave had shown up? What the hell had that been? An easy guess for Dave was that the kid was scared of something. More scared than he had ever seen him be before, even in the game session. Even back then, when they were all thirteen. Had he gotten into a fight? Was he hanging out with some shady friends? He hadn't seen anyone around, but that didn't mean that they couldn't have left before Dave had shown up. 

Without thinking, the blonde had reached a hand around, grabbed John's wrist, and whirled his friend around to face him. 

He needed to see his friend's expression, and he needed some damn answers. Now.

"You know why, John! Just _tell me_."

John looked anything but cheerful then; his act shattered at this point.

In fact, he looked pretty terrified. Eyes wide. All too quickly, he fought against Dave's hold. Pulling his wrist free with so much force that Dave literally couldn't keep a hold on him. " _Let go of me!_ ". It was an order, a loud order. Not even a half-hearted request. He pulled free, flinching back away from Dave, and took some steps back, eyes closed.

It was Dave's turn to be wide-eyed. 

John seemed to follow suit. 

He looked back up at Dave, apologetically, and gave a rather small, hesitant "Sorry".

Dave still didn't say a word.

"Sorry", John repeated. "No offense, but I'm gonna go back inside. Sorry that you came all the way here for no reason." The boy loosened up again, and gave Dave one more small smile, before turning to head back towards the door. In the few seconds that it took him to walk to this apartment, his mood had shifted again. It was almost like he had never gotten upset in the first place. "I'll see you later". 

Just like that, John was inside, the door had closed, and Dave was left to stand outside alone. 

All to late, Dave yelled a retort. One that was probably barely heard through the door as it shut. "John, hold on!"

Godammit.

Dave was both confused, and angry with himself for letting the situation go that way. 

The scenario played over in his head as he drove home, and it kept looping, and kept looping. He needed answers, and that was unfortunate for him, because he barely knew anything. The trip to John's house had solved nothing. At least not much. Dave knew he was friend was acting weird, but after being told more than once that John was fine, he was left to return to life as normal, as if nothing was going on. Like he shouldn't worry. Like he shouldn't check in on his friend. He cared about John more than anyone else in his life, if he was being honest with himself, and he couldn't just sit still. He had been in his car and down the road, faster than he had ever been before. Even when he was late for school. Yet John had basically told him to mind his own business. What a fucking laugh.

He could've been more understanding. 

He could've taken things slower, and now he was beating himself up because he hadn't.

Because he had one single goal, which was to make sure his friend was okay, and he had just made things worse. 

Or so it seemed.

The sky was dark now, and it was late into the evening. 

The car's engine dulled to a stop, and he jammed his keys into his pants pocket as he opened the door to his house. 

The boy was doing his best to open the door slowly, as to not allow the hinges of the door a chance to squeak when they opened. He stayed light on his feet, and made sure the keys were settled in his pocket. The door closed as gently as it could manage. 

Dave Strider was attempting to sneak in as quietly as possible, and was almost holding his breath the entire time.

Most of the lights were off. From the looks of things, the kitchen was still as he left it. The TV in the living room was one of the only light sources. It had been on prior to his leaving. He let out a breath. Quietly. The stairs where just a few glides away. 

Time on the digital clock read 8:30. Could have been worse, right?

The wooden floor of the foyer creaked with the next step he took.

A voice calling out from the living room halted the boy's movements quicker than that of a gunshot. 

"Dave".

 _Shit_.

Just walk up to your room like you didn't hear him, you're fine. Sleep was starting to sound nice, despite the fact that it wasn't even 9 o' clock at night. 

There were exceptions to his regular sleep schedule. This was one of them. 

"Daaave", the voice repeated. 

From his spot on the sofa, Dirk let his head fall back against the cushions, his voice ringing through the nearby hall without much effort made on his part. His body language, which Dave couldn't see, proved that he was slightly annoyed by the way the evening had played out. That meant that his slight annoyance was due to lack of of his lil bro being home when he had gotten there. "David, don't make me use your middle name." There was a spring in his voice, that told Dave that he wasn't exactly mad, but still..

Not so surprisingly, there stood Dave, only a few steps into the room, and staring at the ground like he had committed a crime.

Here we go. Couldn't just make it up to his room, could he?

"Spill it".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I say Dirk I do mean Dave's actual, canon Bro, and not the Dirk that's part of the Alpha Kid group. c: Also, I had someone ask me if this was actually meant to be a JohnDave fic, and indeed it is! They just have an issue bigger than romance at the moment.


	5. Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, if you don't mind ask my asking", Dirk started, adding in a "Which you'd better fucking not" in the middle. "Why were you out so late?" Dave tried to speak as clearly as possible, after all this time he didn't wanna slip up and sound like a child. "I think I have a problem".

_"David, don't make me use your middle name." There was a spring in his voice, that told Dave that he wasn't exactly mad, but still.._

_Not so surprisingly, there stood Dave, only a few steps into the room, and staring at the ground like he had committed a crime._

_Here we go. Couldn't just make it up to his room, could he?_

_"Spill it"._

_____________________

"So, if you don't mind ask my asking", Dirk started, adding in a "Which you'd better fucking not" in the middle.

Dave braced himself, his body almost subconsciously tensing up.

The expression on his Bro's face was readable shades or no shades, and Dave could tell that he was probably in some sort of trouble. With Bro it was hard to tell exactly what sort of punishment that would entail. If he were lucky, it would be a strife on the rooftop, that he was sure to lose. If he were unlucky, he'd be treated like a five year old for the remainder of his high school life. He hoped it wasn't the latter. He knew that he had taken a risk, but given the situation with John, he hadn't been in the mind set to focus on the punishment. He'd only wanted to help his friend.

So, as Bro took his sweet time getting to his final question, Dave's mind whirled around possible answers. 

Maybe he could lie his way out of it. _'Sorry I got caught up reading comics'_? Nah. He wouldn't fall for that.

His Bro shifted his weight, settling into the sofa, as if he knew he was going to be sitting there for a while.

Here it was.

"Why were you out so late?"

His voice sounded almost disinterested, but Dave knew better than to assume that. It was the opposite, or he wouldn't have even called him on it.

Dave shifted where he stood, looking off to the side, trying to look anywhere but at Bro. 

"Why does it matter?" he started, eyeing the stairs, and trying to play the aloof card. "I'm really worn out, I think I'm just gonna go to bed".

The younger blonde took a few steps towards the stairs, which was a few steps too many for Dirk, whom raised his voice in protest. Sitting up, his arms motioned for Dave to come sit down on the couch next to him, and he pointed at the spot as he spoke. "I didn't raise you to take the chicken shit way out, _sit down_ ".

Dave flinched. Well, he tried!

His body language told Dirk that he was loosening up and giving in to the situation, as he moved somewhat sluggishly towards the sofa. The older male watched as Dave plopped down directly where Dirk had motioned for him to sit. So he dropped his arms, folding them over his chest, as he leaned into the cushions again. 

At first, Dave sat there quietly, hunched over, resting his arms on his knees as he stared at the ground. He wasn't very relaxed, unlike his Bro who was just sitting back waiting for words that he knew would eventually come. A few minutes passed, even, and neither of them said anything. Dave was searching his thoughts, and Dirk had muted the TV, staring at it in silence until his little bro spoke. He would've waited an hour if that's what it would've taken, but luckily for him, the silence broke after just a few minutes. Dave sighed, and his bro raised an eyebrow, seemingly ready to listen. 

"Bro", Dave tried to speak as clearly as possible, after all this time he didn't wanna slip up and sound like a child. "I think I have a problem".

There.

He said it.

Dirk turned to look at Dave, reading his expression. He looked nervous, or worried about something. He hadn't expected Dave to have been late for reasons that might actually have been serious. If he had to guess, he thought that he was out hanging out somewhere, or at a game store. Something that wasn't beneficial, and definitely could've warranted a call home or a voice message explaining where he was. Whatever was up with this kiddo sounded serious, and so he did little that wasn't listening, for now. "And?"

"And?" Dave repeated, a little thrown off by that reply.

"What kinda problem?" Bro solidified his question. 

Dave nodded in response, he had known that was what he meant, but sometimes his Bro was hard to read. 

"Well, do you remember John?"

"Yeah?" Bro blinked from behind his shades.

"Something is up with him", Dave was still looking at the ground "and he won't tell me what it is".

From off to the side of him, Dave heard his Bro let out a rather heavy sigh, and then push himself more upright. Like maybe he wanted to be more alert for this conversation, or else he'd end up falling asleep like some old man. Lets dial that down, though. To be fair, he was only 36. Give him some credit, he thinks, aimed at the reader. "Right. So, you all live separate lives now, y'know? Maybe it's none of your business." he replies with something that Dave didn't want to hear.

"Except it _is_ my business!" he retorts. 

There went Dirk, raising his eyebrow for the second time since the conversation had started. "Oh?"

Dave gave a cocky half-smile. "Yeah, _Oh_. He's my best friend." his voice trailed off after that, like he was less sure of his own words. "He is, even though I haven't really talked to him much in a few years". Then his own wheels started turning. Maybe it wasn't his business. Maybe he should've left it alone, but John meant a lot to him. A lot, a lot. He couldn't ignore the situation. There was no way.

Bro pushed the issue. He wasn't getting the whole story, and he knew as much. "Hate to break it to ya, but I'm thinkin' that you should let it be".

That was reverse psychology, of course.

"No!" Flashes of the earlier meeting with John repeated in Dave's mind. Things that happened, things that should've happened. All the while he could feel Bro's gaze on him, watching as him he thought about things that he wasn't saying aloud, and didn't plan to. He was a Strider, and he would only get so vocal about his feelings, and thoughts. "I can't".

Bro smirked in the way that told Dave that for one thing, none of this was surprising him, and for another, he should drop the cryptic act, because it wasn't getting the boy anywhere. So whether he wanted to or not, Dave spoke up a bit more. "I can't, because John is-" he stopped.

Dirk was leaning sideways into the couch by now, propping himself up with elbow, and resting his head on his hand. He was a little tired of Dave not just coming out and saying what had been right there on his tongue the entire time. Bro wasn't stupid. He almost would've said it for him, but he wanted to here the kid say it. If not tonight, then sometime soon. Dave hadn't gone almost out of his way to avoid that Egbert boy for more than two years for no reason, after all. He had a hunch, and Dave then noticed that he was being given a pretty understanding stare in his general direction.

He studied his guardian's eyes, and then let out a defeated sigh. "John is.. really, really important to me, okay? Can you live with that?" he wasn't looking at Dirk anymore. The muted television across the room was very interesting, it seemed.

Dave kept going, with no prompts this time. "He means a lot to me", he swallowed "and I think he's in some kind of trouble, and I don't know how to help". 

The explanation was a little cryptic still, but if he had gone into too much detail, the phone call, etc, he felt like he would've been explaining too much. He wasn't even sure what was up with John, and until he knew for sure what was going on, he wanted to keep Bro at arm's length from the situation. For now, he wanted to more or less handle it by himself, he was allowed to do so. This was between him and John, but right now, it felt good to at least vent a little to someone else. Even if that person had a somewhat warped way of giving advice, or teaching lessons. "Maybe, I should just not-"

Bro's eyebrows furrowed.

His eyes softened in a way that was probably barely noticeable to Dave, who was too focused on his own thoughts.

As Dave continued to speak, Dirk moved to put his arm around the kid's neck, but instead of hugging him, simply placed his hand on his head. 

He ruffled his hair, in a somewhat playful form of approval. One that Dave tried but failed to get out of. 

The older Stider stood up then, and in one quick movement removed his cap from his head, and placed it on Dave's. It wasn't such a graceful movement, and at first it covered Dave's eyes, almost knocking off his shades in the process. He tried to situate it so it so that it sat better, as he glanced up at Dirk. Dave was unsure of just what the other was thinking. 

Bro's words quickly answered his question. "Go get 'em, lil man."

"You better take care of that John kid. Cause, lemme tell you one thing - if he needs some kinda help, then you've gotta be the one to stay calm, alright?" He finished. "Don't be stupid". To which he meant 'don't be reckless, and cause more of a problem than there already was'. Dave seemed to understand that well enough, and nodded, removing Bro's hat from a top his head.

There was some sort of mutual understanding between the two of them, for now. Dirk seemed to have forgotten than Dave had originally been in trouble when this all started. The air in the room had shifted to one of a more lax nature. When Dave had been caught, he hadn't expected it to turn into some sort of weird Strider feelings jam. He had all but told Dirk how he really felt about John, which was something that he hadn't even said to himself. From the looks of things, he hadn't needed to say it to Bro either. He understood without saying so. What happened to John _was_ Dave's business, considering his feelings, and Dirk wasn't going to step in the way of that.

All he could do was hope that Dave kept a clear head on his shoulders.

Romantic feelings, past a point, could be a hindrance, which he didn't want for the kid. 

Without saying much more, Dirk took his hat back, and left the room. 

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do".

That wasn't saying much. Dave knew it was a bit of a joke. His bro could be pretty reckless, but it seemed that Dave was being trusted to not follow in his footsteps, at least for this one thing. 

Though, he had Dirk's approval now. Approval that it was okay to go ahead with helping, and that he wasn't stupid for getting involved with John. 

Now all he needed was to talk to his friend again, and learn more about what was going down.

It was his business now, and he wasn't backing down, not even if John told him to. 

Dave Strider wasn't a quitter.

 

From in his pocket, his phone went off. 

He peered at the screen, as he brought it up closer to his eyes. 

It was from John. 

Egbert had messaged him first. This wasn't over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon the feelings jam. I know there wasn't much of John in this chapter, but these characters write themselves sometimes, and Bro wasn't gonna sit there and be useless. lol

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have much to say about the story thus far, I just hope I put enough warnings in for people who are bothered by any level of abuse to NOT read it. - w -
> 
> [ tumblr link: http://get-a-fucking-pen.tumblr.com/post/31452178918/waiting-for-you-to-breathe-chapter-1 ]


End file.
